poetry

just got home from literature class and they talked about a lot of stuff and wow. we read this poem by a visitor and it moved me a lot, one of the best things ive read in AGES. i don't think video production is for me. it's literature.

04.05.25

blehhhh :P what's up julienet nation.typing this at 2 am listening to beastie boys (sounds of science specifically, great song). its been a weird month so far - i mean, not sure how but it is. march SUCKEDDDDD, what a terrible month. i wont go into details but i broke my positivity rule on this blog so it must've been pretty bad. anyways, around this time last week i discovered that i can literally just do whatever i want. thats such a weird feeling isn't it? just realizing you can do whatever? yesterday i taped this plastic tube to this random flashlight i found, and it was pretty cool.

i feel childish but its fine - thats the beauty of life. ive been stressing about a lot of stuff as of late - especially kpop. i don't know what it is but i can't escape it or want to. its always creeping back up in my life. i decided to watch aespa's hyper link concert since i recently relistened to their discography and fell in awe with it. it's been a while since i sat down to listen to their stuff but im so glad i did. i forgot just how much i love them. their first mini album, savage, is literally a 10/10 project. i don't know how they did it but WOWWWWW its peak. some of my favorite kpop tracks, like. iconic, ludic dream, ill make you cry, savage... the list goes on! all 6 tracks are incredible. the concert i watched too also helped a lot. i forgot how dope the members are, its really cool to see. hoping to get their japanese single soon but its so expensive TT. im tempted to import it but thats too much waiting, for me at least. i also wanna get the weverse version of every lsfm release that has one too - ughhh so much to want and grab... i might get the weverse versions though. just because its convenient and I WANT MORE LE SSERAFIM!!!! i love them sm. also my weverse albums collection is gonna skyrocket and i want that sooooo bad. Weverse Albums are just QR codes but the packaging is kind of nice, the one for EASY is this little cardbox with a window, and the one for unforgiven is HUGEEEE. i might as well take the plunge and buy them all - for now i mean. ive been trying to figure out my place in the world and its kind of weird. i feel pretty solid where im at. i work, am creative, listen and consume dope stuff, and i live. pretty sick all around, im content for right now, its just a shame im so emotionally sensitive all the time. i get set-off easily, whether what emotion it is. its kind of a blessing and a curse but its just how i live. i think im gonna get the weverse albums. i get paid tuesday so i mighta as well splurge on myself for the time being. i dont have a lot i want outside of a few kpop albums that i cant find for cheap and japanese SM releases - which are already expensive on their own. i really wish i bought russian roulette now but thats whatever, but im pretty excited about getting the weverse albums, so its fine. ive been listening to the new sm girl group, hearts2hearts a lot. i kind of dont like that name but the song is pretty good, The Chase. its catchy and the hook is dope, but i wish the song expanded more if that makes sense. i love the melodies on it a LOTTTT tho. sounds really nice to me, which is exactly what i want with k-pop. most of my favorite k-pop is SM so it makes sense, they got dope producers on standby and this shows!

id buy the single on CD but the b-side isn't selling it for me - great song in its own right but it's not engaging enough for me to hop on it, at least for right now. also i dont wanna buy a group i don't know. that happened to me last time and that ended in a mess and me spending a lot of stuff i dont want in the long run. im pretty happy with my collection right now though - all the groups i really love. i don't know what happened but NMIXX literally just stopped existing for me. im not sure what happened but i cant bring myself to listen to their music or watch their content. the problem is, they did nothing!! and i cant find a real reason!! ive been trying to think about what it even could be but nothing is coming to mind. i just woke up and stopped listening / watching. i guess it could be that i had too much on my plate and stopped caring but i don't know, it happened so suddenly. its alright though, i have other groups. i guess NMIXX scratched some itch and now that they don't anymore theres no need to interact. that kind of blows. same thing with IVE too. i think im growing up and slowly moving on with life but still have kpop apart of my life. thats my best guess its hard to say. injury reserve are so underrated. i switched over to them out of nowhere when i was poking around in my music while writing and i forget how awesome they were. their self-titled and floss are SOOO underrated. i love rap so much.

this is such a dope song & video too. i miss them so much because they were amazing at their craft and their visuals always struck me, some of my favorite videos are from them alone. the snapchat concept is so sick. hope i get back to reading manga soon too - i have a lot of stuff i wanna read and itd be cool to finally get to it. im kind of just typing and looking at stuff so im gonna cap it off because this post becomes a bunch of incoherent blabbering, well, worse than it is now. ill see yall later, peace.

p.s. new jane remover album is fire.

im so tired of being alone

idk what's going on but i think everything's gotten worse somehow - it seems everywhere i go and everything i do is a constant reminder of the situation im in and it kind of makes me feel awful. i can't tell what it is or how to properly word it but im so tired of doing everything for myself, the distractions and hobbies aren't affective anymore. i can't tell if it's always like this but this is the first time where ive felt absolutely worthless and miserable for multiple days in a row and even worse, suicide. im not gonna do it, of course, but it lingers in my head. im so tired of being like this, im so tired of trying so hard to find self-fulfillment when it goes down the drain immediately after. i know i mean a lot to people but i can't seem to register that and it starts eating at me. it feels like no matter how much i improve and how much i try that my loneliness is going to be present. i can have everything i could ever want but that cloud is going to be looming over no matter what i do. that dude from high school is the only person who made me feel validated and useful but not a day goes by where i don't think about that feeling and how happy i felt about everything. it's so dreadful not having anyone understand or connect with you in anyway and i just can't do anything about it but sit in bed and be on the verge of tears over it. i will never find anyone. period. im so fed up and tired, i just want these emotions to end. i wish i was normal.

late night

its currently 2:30 am as of writing this, man i gotta start writing these posts at a better time. i was looking through a lot of the early posts on the old blog and it reminded me a lot of how life was a few years ago and how much i loved to write these blog posts. insane to me i kept up the grammar for that long instead of typing whatever comes straight from the dome like i do nowadays. i mean i always did that but that looks much better and maybe a little presentable. i used to write all those posts on my phone, i don't know how i did that since i always type long-form stuff on my laptop REGARDLESS of what it is. i hate typing on my phone lmao. out of the 59 posts on their, 44 of them were written on my phone (fun fact: the laptop im typing this on now actually is the same one i used on that blog - feels full circle) but reading the blog made me realize why i posted to begin with - to get away from the negative stuff in my life, have the opportunity to escape and talk about the things i love a lot, i forgot about that. i forgot that i can just post and talk about the things i like to a very annoying extent and be happy about it. that's what happiness is, being your true self. i am not this cool mysterious dude who makes cool art on the internet because of julienet - i am a complete dweeb and loser who loves talking about beastie boys, le sserafim, japanese media and i will and want to take pride in that!! that's what i consider cool!! talking about stuff that's dope!! so having an opportunity to do that is so cool and something i don't think about a lot cause "durrr i don't like something anymore so im gonna have it going on in my head for weeks." that's lame!!!! i have so many cool things to talk about but i don't because im sooo sad and negative about something so inessential. i remember starting julienet with the impression of "oh ill make it all mysterious and cool because the art i do is minimalist" and thats just, so lame to me. i want my art to be expressive of what i am and what i like and i think im doing good at that. for the 1 year anniversary of julienet i thought it would be cool to release all the previous edits ive made over the past couple of years as they show me and who i am as a person and just drop the "posts art and say nothing" shtick ive been doing. its really lame. i also used to do that on my personal Instagram too - post every few months and then say nothing but thats so lame. do you know how cool it is to post whatever you want? i wish i felt something like this ages ago, there's a lot of shorter posts here because i am NOW just warming up to the idea of posting short thoughts too as opposed to something long-form. i do somewhat miss the serious tone i was doing with the og blog when writing about stuff, but when its off the cuff stream of conscious writing, i don't think it matters. i did use proper capitalization for the LE SSERAFIM review and thats how i like it. whatever grammar for this stuff but proper for little reviews and whatnot. i should probably delete the articles page on the julienet site cause there's like one article and i can just put that on the directory page, but its whatever. this and tumblr are some of my favorite sites ever because i can literally just post whatever im geeking out about and there's BOUND to be someone geeking out over the same thing. its really cool to see people still use these websites - keeping the best and most pure forms of social media alive and it makes me really happy. having this medium is really nice. 

it's currently 8 in the morning as of typing this - i fell asleep writing this and teetered off near the end lol. i have nothing more to say but i hope everyone has a great day! thank you for reading me ramble, means a lot.

LE SSERAFIM - Hot (Album Review)

The new LE SSERAFIM mini album might be one of their best. I've been listening to it a lot since it came out yesterday, and it's grows on me every single listen. In comparison to their previous efforts in the trilogy (EASY, CRAZY, HOT), this one knocks the previous releases right out of the park. One of the standouts to me in particular is its' production, the shift from the hype and "crazy" production of Crazy to this slower and melodic sound really works well for them and shows their ability to take on different sounds and ideas whilst maintaining what I personally think is their own vibe. The title-track Hot feels incredibly stripped from what the past releases were, mostly working with bass and drums for the verses and very few keys on the chorus, but it works INCREDIBLY well for the song, it's incredibly catchy and the chorus highlights a trend going forward with this mini album in particular, amazing choruses. The only downside is the length, which leaves much more to be desired. The next song though, Come Over, is nothing short but amazing. The 60s-inspired production with their vocals blends super well together and highlights their vocal abilities. The chorus is an extreme ear-worm too, as its' melody hasn't seemed to escape me and I hope it never does, this one is easily the best song on the mini, (Side note: the MusicCore performance has amazing styling; it fits the concept of the song super well and they all look amazing.). Ash has been considered by fans within the last 24 hours as their best b-side since Antifragile's Impurities, but I don't see it. The production is really solid and it's never boring, but it doesn't top Impurities in my personal opinion. I really enjoy the slow-tempo and production a bunch, it really reminds me of the sound of the Fromis_9 album Unlock My World, a sound I have a strong interest in. I have a strong admiration for the sounds on So Cynical (Badum) and it's probably their best vocal performance on the album, their little cadences throughout the track and the "bop-bop-bop-bop-ruh" during the chorus is super sick. It's overall the most pop-sounding song on the entire project but it is SO good. It reminds me a lot of 2010's pop music, which is a positive. This one might be one of their best b-sides and I can see myself putting it in a Top 10 best LE SSERAFIM songs list. 

LE SSERAFIM knocks it out of the park with this release, possibly eclipsing their best effort, Antifragile. With a solid tracklist that's incredibly varied in sound but always consistently good, it really solidifies it's place in their discography from the get-go and validates my personal opinion of them being my favorite K-Pop group. This one is a strong 10/10, it doesn't waste time and identifies itself in the best way possible as a standout in the LE SSERAFIM catalogue. 

Listen here (YouTube)